Today was just a really good day.
It was not a spectacular day because of anything particularly amazing. To some, it would seem to be a relatively normal day. But it was the kind of normal that makes my soul happy. The kind of day I needed after the mentally exhausting weekend I had. The kind of ‘normal’ day I needed to motivate myself and push forward.
For the last year, I had a particularly good thing. It was a good thing that happened somewhat suddenly, but grew and brought me much joy. I changed a little bit because of it. I made decisions because of it. I sort of ignored other things because I wanted to invest in it. But it was still a good thing, which brought me to other good things. Then the good thing kind of faded and suddenly, right before the weekend, it disappeared. I spent the weekend mourning the lost of this good thing and analyzing myself, wondering what in the world happened. I was sad, angry, hurt, confused, and yet, full of love. I was not entirely graceful, which I regret, but in this, I have also learned more about myself. I filled the weekend hours with reflection, prayer, rest, wine, sitting in the sunshine (what a warm weekend it was!) and quality time (my love language) with some of the people that fill my heart up.
I also heard two great messages in church: one that covered a little bit about not conforming to other people but daring to be different (with a mention of one of my favorite bible verses: “Do not conform, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” -Romans 12:2), and another one that discussed friendship/relationships and covered the Five Love Languages – which I had been thinking about not too long ago. How fitting! I had to laugh and marvel at the timing of these messages.
By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I ended the weekend realizing that having the good thing gone was actually….. a good thing!
Now I am free to pursue interests and passions and people that I had been unintentionally pushing aside. I am free to devote more time and energy to everyone and anything, instead of tunneling in on a smaller part that wasn’t moving forward. I am free to be me, not conforming to who I thought I was supposed to be (how in the world did I let that almost happen!?), but continuing to grow and mature into whoever God is shaping me to be…. without holding things back. I did not see how this good thing was holding me back, but now I do. It was good for a time. But this is good too, and what I need. I am different.
I am free.
So, sometimes…. it’s a good thing when a good thing is gone.
I’m kind of thankful. Funny how that works. Funny how God works.
Back to today.
The most important part of my day, I believe, was one thing I had been neglecting on and off for months: mornings with God. I used to spend my mornings reading scripture, journaling, and praying. Doing this was, for me, the best way to set the tone for the rest of the day. Lately, I let it slide. As a result, I’ve been drained, and this lack of morning time was leaking into other aspects of my life. This morning before work, I was able to sit with a slow cup of coffee (no more creamer – see you later, dairy!), soak up some verses, try to pay attention to what God was showing me, and reflect/write what was on my mind. What a recharge! I am excited to start every morning like this again!
The drive to work was peaceful. I walked in the school building feeling calm and ready. Work was work. However, as I was standing outside, watching the students run around the playground in the warm, early March air, I realized that I had nothing to complain about with this job, nor have I ever really had anything to complain about. Most days, even if I’m exhausted, I actually look forward to being at work. All those snow days we had? Half of those days, I was upset not to be at work! Although I am not doing exactly what I had hoped to do when I acquired my degree a few years back, I am very blessed to be where I am. I always have been blessed, actually, wherever I’ve been. Along with that, the student I work with was in a good mood today, my co-workers are fantastic, and one of the departments set up a stress-relief day with complimentary massages (in which I found out that my back/body is good and relaxed) and a hot chocolate bar! Pretty awesome, huh? It was a very nice day at work, indeed. Even the rain that arrived this afternoon delighted me.
I’m sitting here at home now now with a fantastic Japanese-inspired dish I threw together: Soba noodles, tofu, mushroom, carrots, spinach, and green onions sauteed in sesame and chili oils. While eating my dinner, I realized that, with the possible exception of the hot chocolate I had at work today, all my meals and snacks today were vegan…. which also contributes to my high energy level and good feelings. I’m excited to be making good food choices again. Juicing, I missed you so much.
The rain just finished pouring a beautiful rhythm on the roof, bringing hopes of a lovely spring to come. Heavy clouds are blowing across the sky while shades of pale pink and purple from the sunset peek over the puffy edges. There’s a good storm coming in – I love myself a good storm. After I publish this, I’m hoping to finish the book I’m reading (Unstoppable by Christine Caine) and watch a little bit of Fixer Upper. Chip & Joanna Gaines are adorable; so are their houses. You can never have enough shiplap, right? Maybe I’ll throw in a little bit of yoga. Or maybe not.
Again, not a particularly marvelous day, but just what I needed.
Everything will be alright.
Peace be with you.