The ice of winter has finally thawed. I have thawed.
We seemingly skipped spring and have already arrived at summer.
I intended to write more in this post, for my sake (and yours, I suppose), about our days, but to sum it up, in no particular order: we got our roof replaced (there goes our tax return – whee!), we fixed and replaced our kitchen floor (with a wonderful visit from my in-laws!), we had a wonderful weekend visit from some dear friends from Illinois, we all got hit with mono in different forms (and way less severe than I remember mono being when we were kids), I am in desperate need of new hearing aids (remember these? they’re almost ten years old and yes, gave me the same problems for the last ten years) at about $3K each, I watched a few more Best Picture Winner movies (I have a goal of watching all the films that won the Academy Award and have nearly finished the list), I am finally finished with my spring courses and only have two more classes in the fall before receiving my official DHH teacher certificate, we got rid of our crazy rooster Bob, school is nearly done for the year, and we are gearing up for summer! As I already mentioned, summer apparently arrived already. Our family has already enjoyed several dinners on the back porch, BBQing, homemade lemonade, splashing in the water spicket (and kiddie pool), blowing dandelions, running around outside, etc. I’m so excited to explore more of the outdoors with the child — we will even attempt tent camping!
On a personal note regarding my faith, I realized a majority of books, studies, messages, etc. from people who call themselves Christians are not always theologically-sound and may have been entwined with false teachings. Due to this realization and my desire to know God as much as I can, I have been incredibly focused on studying the Word more in-depth than before. I set up a separate blog detailing my realization/journey and guidance for other women to discern for themselves, but won’t publish/share it until I feel ready. I’ll continue to write in both spaces.
books read since the last post:
Counter Culture by David Platt
Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World by Gary Chapman
The Life-Giving Home by Sally Clarkson
Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto
Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv.
That’s all I feel like writing about today. Love to you all. 🙂
Today, Nolan is one and a half years old. One and a half.
What. I feel like it was yesterday that he was nuzzling my neck with baby breath.
It’s also strange because I feel like every month he is a different person. Yet, this entire time, he has been the same person. It is a blessing to watch him grow and learn about the world around him, delighting in the smallest things and being such a content, observant kid.
I have this five-year one sentence a day journal for mothers that I try to write in every day (unfortunately, there are quite a few days with nothing written in it…. I even fail at just writing one sentence every day), but it doesn’t allow for a lot of expansion. I wanted to take the time to write about Nolan in this post. I want to remember him as he is right now, today. I’m already struggling to remember him at six months ago. If you don’t want to read me go on and on about my awesome kid, feel free to skip this!
So. Nolan. Gosh. He loves balls (baseballs, basketballs, giant inflatable balls, little light-up balls, cat balls, all balls), trucks, cars, and animals (owls!). He is slightly obsessed with keys and hats. He delights in tickles, bubbles, being chased, splashing in water, dancing, clapping, ball pits, and running away. He especially enjoys running and being chased. Mommy doesn’t enjoy that part as much.
Nolan is also a talented dancer – bouncing, spinning, and clapping to music the instant he hears it. Music is mesmerizing, he has enjoyed a few small concerts and seems fascinated with guitars. He can also throw a ball with a lot of strength, and frequently makes baskets in his basketball hoop. He enjoys coloring (thankfully, he has stopped chewing the crayons), putting blocks together, brushing his hair and teeth. He loves to help bring shoes, put things in the garbage, move clothes from the washer to the dryer, close the dishwasher, turn on and off the heater, and put away random objects. Nolan is also learning how to pray, often saying, “Amen!” at the table before we have a chance to bow our heads. Silly kid.
Nolan loves being outside, frequently running to the front door asking to go out and play, and/or throwing a fit when I tell him it’s time to go inside. His favorite things to do outside are playing with the leaves, collecting flowers/dandelions, picking up sticks and acorns, looking at (and throwing) rocks, finding bugs, chasing chickens, watching birds (and hawks) fly around, and pointing out everything he sees. The moon is delightful! He often gives me blades of grass so I can blow on them to make noise.
Nolan has a great sense of humor, often sticking out his tongue and making silly faces. He loves to hide behind curtains and pop out in surprise. The other day, he tickled me with a feather and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. His laughter is contagious!
He also talks a lot. Words he can say: mommy, daddy, cat, dog-dog, duck, owl, (and can say animal sounds for cow, horse, sheep, pig, duck, etc.), apple, banana, bib, cheese, water (“wawa”), cookies, milk, cracker, pizza, pasta (“pada”), more, ball, baseball, please, thank you, bye-bye, hi, all done, Danny (Daniel Tiger), hot, beep-beep, flag (“fla”), purple, blue, yellow, moon, star, book, potty, poop, “oh no,” “uh oh,” hat, shoes, socks, help, hug, happy, yes, no, mine, this, up, light, bell, bubble, play, outside (“outsize”), throw, rock, go, I don’t know, and a variety of names of friends and family members. Honestly, I’ve lost track. He can say so much more now than he did a month ago when I started writing this post. We are delighting in his ability to put 2-3 words together (such as “blue ball,” “big truck,” and “outside dog-dog”). He can sign consistently: more, please, milk, ball, book, banana. I’ve seen him sign: tree, big, home, grass, cracker, cheese, wet, wind. We don’t work on this as much as we should, but he is interested. And of course, he can understand much more than he can say. Sometimes he even yells at the rooster when he hears him attacking chickens (“no-no, Bob!”).
Reading is another favorite thing to do. There are some books he doesn’t want me to read at all, and there are some books he puts in my hand to read and over and over (literally, grabs my hand and places a book in it). Right now, he really enjoys:
He loves to eat. Recently, though, he’s become a little bit picky but is still willing to try everything I give him. He loves cheerios, carrots, black olives (and he even puts them on his fingers like I did as a kid!), all kind of fruits, crackers, cheese, pizza, green smoothies (need to get that kale in him somehow!) and of course, cookies (which we rarely keep in our house).
Of course, he throws tantrums when it’s time for bed, when mommy or daddy go outside without him, when dinner isn’t ready yet,…… patience is something we need to work on! He is showing signs of knowing the difference between the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do, often with a sly smile and sideways glance before throwing the rock he knows he shouldn’t throw (this is something else we need to work on). Nolan has also mastered telling us “yes” and “no” very appropriately. Thankfully, he is often agreeable. His enthusiastic, “YEAH!” is the best.
He also gives the best hugs ever. He’s my favorite tiny human.
We love this little boy to the moon and back and beyond.
So, so thankful God choose us to to be his parents.
Since I’m not on Facebook anymore, and I’m kind of slowing down from everything in general, I thought it would be good to start writing blog posts again. When I have time. Usually during the child’s nap. Or one of the many snow days we’ve had so far this month.
I haven’t really reflected too much on my previous words [of the year], but wanted to check in with y’all and let you know what I’ve done, changes, and feelings I’ve had.
If you remember, this year’s word is hygge.
In January, I have:
Completed a jigsaw puzzle.
Watched several movies.
Played in the snow. And the leaves. And the mud. And the ice. And sun.
Stayed off Facebook 90% of the time, thus, stayed off my phone more.
Picked up some knitting needles & yarn to start a small project. (Did not finish…)
Not spent as much money. I didn’t buy anything extra or unnecessary.
Played some board games with my husband.
Carried a Rubik’s cube around. For me and the child. (You’re never too old for that, right? Maybe? Oh well.)
Drank cups of tea, and warm water with lemon/honey/cinnamon for health.
Attended my women’s small group (new study – Armor of God!).
The child also spent the first weekend of January in the hospital; we brought him to the doctor, confused that he wasn’t walking/putting weight on his leg. The doctor sent us to the ER. We spent all day at the ER, and an overnight in the Children’s hospital. There was a lot of waiting. A lot of waiting. The child was happy and cheerful, which I am so grateful for. The times he was napping, my husband and I were just sitting, waiting. I know it was hard for him to wait. It was hard for me too. But oh, what a reminder to be still and know that He is God! In the end, he was diagnosed with transient synovitis and sent home with some Motrin. I am so thankful that it was just a strange, treatable infection in his hips, but it was definitely worrying.
And then there were all the school closings! And unexpected snow days! And more rest. And sledding and snowmen and catching snowflakes with our tongues. And as quickly as the snow came, it melted away to 50 degree, rainy days. Only to snow again the following week. Crazy. When I was a child, I always wished I was in a place where the weather was different nearly every day. …..I think I got my wish!
Along with this, I have been feeling a shift inside myself. The more I dive into God’s Word, the more the world I live in breaks apart into tiny pieces and fades away because the things we see just don’t matter. The colors we have chosen to paint our walls with, the dishes we use, the clothes we have, the decorations (or lack of) on the front door, the cars we drive, our jobs, it just shatters into pieces….. replaced with a blanket of white. A blanket of peace and truth and grace. God. These…. things don’t matter. I need to remind myself of this. I need to remember this. I need to remember this that I had remembered and held onto just a few short years ago. Shed myself of the expectations that others… and let’s face it.. our selves.. have placed on us. Mascara has been tossed in the garbage. No more of that. You’re getting me, stripped down. Focused on taking care of my body, simplicity, etc. etc. Not sure how to put this into words.
What I typed in February:
Well. After that last thought in my previous paragraph, I stepped away from writing this post and there was another shift. A not so good one. I went back on Facebook a little bit this month. I started falling into discontentment again. The child got sick, I got sick (flu + pneumonia, actually, for the first time ever). Husband got sick. I fell behind in my housekeeping, my work, my schoolwork, my bible study, life in general. Right now, I feel like I’m swimming against the current, more and more things piling up. More bills. More sickness. More repairs needed. More messes. The further forward I go, the more I feel like I’m slipping back. I’m in a slump right now. Just feeling blah. I am overwhelmed and worn down. Trying to do everything at once. Trying to keep up. Not sure where to begin. Trying to shake this feeling that life has been consistently falling apart ever since we moved to Kentucky. There has been so much good in our lives, but I am constantly blinded by all that is not good. Trying to push that aside and just focus on the good. I don’t know. Februaries have never been my favorite months.
Now, it is March. Today:
One week in this month and I already feel a lot better than I did in February. Still coughing, and my own health not feeling 100%, but not as bad as it was. Someone rear-ended me the other day when leaving work, so that was fun (not). At that point, I was nearly numb to the incident because, well, let’s just keep adding more stuff to my plate, right? There’s nothing I can do but react calmly, and deal. January was definitely hygge. February, not so much. March? We’ll see. I do feel that positive shift coming back, though. I no longer feel behind in life. I have been writing down all my thoughts and plans for this month in lists and calendars. Things feel a little more organized again. It was 60 degrees a couple days ago and the following morning, we woke up to snow on the ground. Kentucky weather is funny. It keeps me on my toes. Life keeps me on my toes.
books read so far:
The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather by Linda McGurk The Book of Hygge: The Danish Art of Living Well by Louisa Thomsen Brits Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch Hygge: The Danish Art of Happiness by Marie Tourell Soderberg Nomadland by Jessica Bruder Moo by Sharon Creech
…and of course, Llama Llama Red Pajama and God Bless You, And Good Night.
movies watched so far:
Little Miss Sunshine (2006) Dukes of Hazzard (2005) Moonlight(2016) Spotlight (2015) Get Out (2017) Dunkirk (2017) The Breakfast Club (1985) Semi-Pro (2008)