one thousand gifts · personal happiness

Too Many To Count. [770-1000]



770. arriving to our destination safely with dog and baby in the car. 771. seeing our families. 772. sweet zoo surprise from an online friend across the country. 773. cool, rainy day for temporary relief from the hot weather. 774. checking items off my list. 775. summer break. […] 995. my little boy crawling! 996. his tiny hands on my face, to get my attention. 997. his infectious laugh. 998. bright orange sunrise over misty fields of horses. 999. having my job. 1000. an abundance of blessings. so many.

So. It looks like I cheated a bit by not listing items 776 through 994…. but here’s the thing, in that huge span of time, there have been so many, endless blessings. Many of them through my sweet, precious boy who brings me joy through his own joy at the world around him. His laugh is the best thing ever! Many blessings through my husband, my parents, my family, my friends, my church, my coworkers, everyone…. and God.  Because that’s from whom all blessings flow. Everything I have is a gift. Everything I don’t have is still a gift. And everything on this earth that is beautiful is still only temporary. But because it’s temporary, I am trying to cherish the good and beautiful things that are here while they are while simultaneously fixing my sights on what is unseen. But I also wanted to step away from this feeling of “I have to write this down” or “get this done.” So, another reason I decided to skip the list. I know what’s out there. I know what the gifts are. I am looking for them constantly. Noticing them all the time. Noticing what a beautiful life this is. And being thankful for where I am and who my savior is…..

In the midst of all of this wonderfulness that I just wrote about, I have also felt frazzled, pulled apart in many directions, tired, unsure of who I am, angry, exhausted, overwhelmed, and did I mention tired? It’s been brought to my attention lately (through words from others, scripture, songs, books) that I need to change something. Remember how I used to be so focused on simplicity? Simplicity became messy and full…. and not in a good way. Time to get back to that. I like full — but not the nasty, soul-sucking kind of full. I want fullness in joy. Fullness in life. Fullness in peace. In love. In God.

I am going to try to be more intentional with this short life I have.

I also want to write. But there is so much to do and only so little time and a little boy that needs to be to there for him. This is not my time to write. This is my time to be. I’d like to soak up every moment that I can, especially with my child. And he is only on loan, not mine forever. And I need to work on my relationship with Jesus, my husband, and family, everyone in my life, and taking care of myself, as well.

Cheers, friends. Much love to you, always.

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