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I Have A Confession To Make.

You probably wondered where I’ve been and why I’ve said so little. I’ll make it quick.

I have strayed from the path I’ve been walking on.

What path? This one. The path of simplicity and minimalism. The path of positive thinking and hours of relaxation. The path of good health and yoga. The path towards a better me.

I’ve haven’t done yoga in nearly a month. I’ve made more purchases in the past couple weeks than I’ve made all year. I consumed several meals from fast food restaurants (don’t worry — I haven’t eaten any burgers!). I’ve gone to the mall and browsed clothing racks with the intention of buying them to replace worn items in my closet, only to add a few extra items I didn’t need. I have rushed through my days without taking a break. Nearly every moment of my week is scheduled. I’ve taken on more projects than I need to. I’ve been glued to my phone but neglecting you at the same time. I’m struggling financially.

I’m worn out. I’m not unhappy, I’m just tired.

And why? After months of unemployment, I started a new job with longer hours, a longer commute, and less pay than my last one. I’ve started up a side business with my other half to work towards our tiny house dream. I’m in the process of becoming a mentor for a middle school kid. I just moved into a new apartment that is way too big for me. And the main reason? I’m working hard to plan our wedding, which is less than three weeks away. While I enjoy all of these, they’ve taken a lot of time away from pure simplicity and enjoying life.

If I had to describe myself right now, the following words come to mind: exhausted, tired, busy, stressed, overwhelmed, and out of shape. I don’t like any of those words! It’s not who have been this year and not who I want to be. Granted, I haven’t done a complete 180 and started stuffing myself with meat, watching television, buying loads of useless crap, and turning into a ball of negative energy, but I could easily slip in that direction if I completely let go. Each little choice we make is a step in either direction: up or down. I’m taking many steps to go up, but have noticed a few going down. I need to change that and get back on track!

Last Friday, I had the pleasure of sitting on a bench near the water, watching the waves crash against the rocks and reflecting on everything in my life. That quiet moment (or rather, hour) to myself was the mini-break that I needed to recharge a bit. It reminded me of what I am striving for in my life: peace, joy, and simplicity.

It’s so easy to let yourself go. It’s so easy to avoid things. It’s so easy to give up. It’s so easy not to do something. But what does that accomplish? Nothing. I will keep pushing through and making slow changes again to get back on track. It is up to me to create the life I want. It is up to you to create the life you want.

You might hear from me a couple more times in the weeks to come, but I won’t be fully myself again until the storm has calmed. I know you understand how it feels and where I’m coming from.

I hope you are doing well and taking all the steps you need to live a wonderful life!

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4 thoughts on “I Have A Confession To Make.

  1. I completely understand how that feels.  I used to work out so much over summer and lately I’ve been feeling a little guilty about completely stopping my  goals because life got “busy”.  I’m not sure how to balance everything but I wish you luck and I hope you feel more energized in your life.  Congrats on the new job! 

    ~http://icarryyourheartinmine.blogspot.com/

    1. I am trying to figure out how to balance everything. I’ve done it before, so I can do it again! I think once the wedding is over, I’ll feel a lot less stressed and have more time freed up, too. Thank you for your well-wishes!! 🙂

  2. Oh honey. I feel for you! How much of that can you clear off while you focus on planning for your wedding? You’re getting married! That’s awesome. I’ll be sending you lots of positive thoughts that everything will clear off your plate for the next few weeks.  

    Congratulations,
    Tanja 🙂

    1. I am unable to clear much but have managed to create pockets of time for myself again. Just getting all this out and sharing with you made me feel calmer about everything. Thank you for stopping by Tanja, I hope all is well in your part of the world! 🙂

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