happiness

Part II: Letting Go.

Last week, I wrote Part I in which I shared how I create time for myself. It applies to you too.

I also mentioned that my daily schedule these days is different than when I started writing Part I. Now? I’m currently unemployed. I voluntarily left my full-time job last month to complete an internship this spring. Essentially, I’m working for free. Financially, it kind of sucks – but mentally, it’s a freeing challenge! Not working f0r pay means I adhere to a strict budget, have fewer commitments, am free to explore options, appreciate everything a little more, and have extra time on my hands. I’m also done with my graduate courses (can I get a cheer for being so close to finishing up my Master’s degree?)!

Extra free time means I can devote myself more to this blog, right?

Yes, but not really. You see, having more free time makes me want to go out more. I don’t mean hitting the bars every weekend, but rather, interacting with others on a more personal level and experiencing things. I’ve been relishing the extra moments in my days the past couple weeks by doing just that. It’s addictive. I want more of it. I want to spend my moments learning about my neighbors, laughing with friends, and saying “hi” to strangers. It’s also starting to warm up in the Midwest. Who wants to stay inside on the computer when clear skies and warm winds are calling?

You know what I need to do? I need to cut back on this site.

The Internet is a great way for people to exchange information and ideas. I’ve encountered dozens of brilliant people by reading simple living sites and connecting with them via social media and meet-ups. I’ve learned so much from everyone and cherish the connections. When I stepped into the world of minimalist blogging several months ago, I knew what I was getting into. I knew I would need to network. I knew I would have to maintain those connections to keep this place active. I knew I needed a regular posting schedule. I knew I would shell out some money for a sweet domain name. I knew this blog would feel like another part-time job. I knew that many people would be reading and judging what I say. I accepted that. I didn’t have to do this, but I did. I also knew that I might get tired of it.

You know what? Yes, I think I’m burning out a little bit. I’m tired of giving myself personal blogging deadlines. I’m tired of trying to network with other writers on Twitter. I’m tired of interacting too much with people in my online life and not enough with the people around me. I’m tired of trying to stay on top of everything in the minimalist blogging world by reading countless posts from other people. I’m tired of feeling guilty when I don’t respond to every message I receive. I’m tired of staring at a screen. I’m tired of sore hands from an awkward position with the laptop. I’m tired of feeling like I’m losing sight of what I really want to do, which is to live a simple life. Devoting myself to this blog and being glued to my laptop screen a couple hours every night is not living a simple life.

The people who are really living are not reading blogs daily, sending Twitter updates every half hour, and writing eBook reviews. They’re out meeting people on the streets, bonding with friends, climbing mountains, cooking healthy meals, teaching others, playing games, reading good books, doing cartwheels, and canoeing down rivers. I need to get myself back into that mindset. I need to disconnect before I can connect.

This is just a hobby. It’s not a job. Maybe for you, but not for me. I don’t intend to make money here. I’m just here and you’re along for the ride. You don’t even have to be here. I’m glad we’re here together – but I’m also happy for you if you go down your own path.

A word about Twitter: I was a Twitter user for a couple years and left because I was too overwhelmed. I didn’t miss it. I only rejoined Twitter again at the beginning of this year in order to publicize this blog and share ideas with other like-minded writers. Suddenly, here I am, feeling overwhelmed again even though I follow a significantly lower number of people than I used to. I just can’t keep up with the stream because I don’t check in that often. I don’t really want to keep up with the stream. I don’t care what I miss when I step away. I don’t care if you think that’s a selfish thing to say. We all have better things to do in this life.

I’m cutting back. I’m letting go.

Don’t worry, I’m not disappearing. Allowing myself to let go just lifts the burden of commitment. It allows me the freedom to jump back on this site and into this world when I feel like it, and leave for awhile without feeling guilty. I still care about you. We just need a break from this digital relationship. No expectations. No rules. No strings.

Letting go once in a while means you will come back refreshed. Stronger. Passionate.

It’s OK to take a step back. You are your own boss. Everything works out.

I love to write – that won’t stop. But I’m not putting myself on deadlines anymore. I’m not going to write about the hot topic of the week. I’m just going to write about what comes to me, when it comes to me. Then I’m going to hit ‘publish’ and walk away. It may 100 words or 1,000 words. I have dozens of unfinished posts waiting in my drafts queue and my short-lived The Little Things series. These are ideas I scribbled down on notebooks and post-its with the intention of turning into a blog post or turning into a regular thing. It became a form of procrastination that builds up and becomes so large that I’m hesitant to tackle it. Finishing them is just not one of my priorities. Some of them will be published eventually, and others will be tossed. We’ll be fine, either way.

Don’t be disappointed in me. I just want to live my life. You should too.

Enough of talking about what I want. Time to go do it.

What do you need to let go of?

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Part II: Letting Go.

  1. Congrats with your progress in your schooling. Keep plowing forward, and you will get to where you want to go. Simplifying is great. I had off of work and was fed up and stressed with everything going on. I turned my phone and computer off for 2 days. And I was much happier and relaxed. (I know this is an extreme, but it was just what I needed.) I still do that from time to time.

    1. Isn’t it wonderful how relaxed we are when we just step away from the chaos for a little bit? It isn’t that hard to do, either. Everyone needs to do that.

  2. Last year around this time I deleted my blog and left facebook after realizing I was thinking in witty 120 character phrases.3 years ago I quit my band after realizing what was once relaxing and fun had become a burden and a chore.If you love writing, you’ll keep it up. NOW GO HAVE ADVENTURES!!! (p.s. Is the title of your blog a Wonder Showzen reference?? My cats are named Clarence and Chauncey)

    1. Jon!? No way! Haven’t heard from you in a few years. What a pleasant surprise!! I’ll be e-mailing you soon. :)I’ve been blogging/writing for nearly ten years and don’t think I’ll be stopping any time soon – but I just need release once in awhile! When something fun becomes a burden, that’s when we need to step away. Glad to hear you made conscious choices to leave even if it meant something fun turned into a chore.Also, I’ve never seen Wonder Showzen. I had no idea that was also a quote from the show! Wow…

  3. This is awesome Laura. And once again perfect timing for me. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed by life in general, and feeling guilty about not posting or having great ideas. You’ve motivated me to let go of my inner (unrealistic) “expectations”. Thanks for reminding me that I too am just in this for enjoyment, not for money, not to make it big. It’s the simple things.Oh, and congrats on the Masters!Laura’s Last Post: I’m Still Around

    1. Thanks for finding the time to stop by! Don’t ever feel guilty for not updating as often. Your life is more important than logging in to write about it. šŸ™‚

  4. I love you and I think you’re an amazing. :)And you’re nearly done with graduate school?! I’M JEALOUS! I want to go back to school. I miss being a nerd. (I need to find what I want to study in, first, of course).Love love! ā¤

    1. I thought you were still in school! I didn’t realize you were on a break. Don’t feel pressured to go back, though. Enjoy your time off. Wait until you really know what you want to do. ā¤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s